infractos:

its so hard to be positive when you’re bleeding from your vagina

(Source: infractos, via flourei)

mewsoleum:

ways people have tried to pronounce panini at work within the last 2 weeks:

  • panny
  • panuni
  • penne
  • paninny
  • panina
  • pnnnnnn
  • panty

chipotle:

  • chipotel
  • chipootle
  • chipotly
  • chernobyl
  • chepot
  • chepoodle
  • chipsodle

(Source: teenileeni)

collegehumor:

Gift Shop (Thrift Shop Parody) [Click to watch]

The ice cream’s best served “cold ass”.

Rob Delaney: Somebody asked me to make this Q/A rebloggable. So I did. ———————— Q:...

robdelaney:

Somebody asked me to make this Q/A rebloggable. So I did.
————————
Q: When you say you want to have sex with fat ladies it’s funny because that’s weird and gross, right?
————————
No, I say it because I’m 6’3” and weigh 225 lbs. so I’m generally most attracted to…

I just love him the most.

(via iraffiruse)

collegehumor:

Game of Cats

Brace yourselves… Puppies are coming..

Yes!

// Definitely just remembered why I haven’t taken cough syrup in about 10 years.//

Shit’s fucking disgusting.

Here’s hoping I actually sleep tonight.

Rob Delaney: Hello friends! If you stopped someone on the street and asked them...

robdelaney:

Hello friends! If you stopped someone on the street and asked them what they thought about Rob Delaney, it’s a safe bet they’d say “Rob Delaney? Well, he sure does love to help people!” And they’d be correct; helping my brothers and sisters navigate this crazy world is at the very top of my list….

// Deleted Scenes from Star Wars That Explain A Lot//

collegehumor:

Darth Vader: Luke, help me take this mask off. 
Luke: But you’ll die.
Darth Vader: Nothing can stop that now. Besides, Disney will probably bring me back anyway.
Luke: I thought that this was Disney. 
Darth Vader: Nope. 
Luke: But the Ewoks…
Darth Vader: I know. 

(Source: College Humor)

Nursing. Weight Lifting. Pipe Banding. Lather, rinse, repeat.